Recent updates
- S(crap)s: I Miss My Death / Kaoskult / Raus & Perunwit (split) / Spatial / Thy Flesh (13/06/14)
- Hatebreed: The rise of brutality (12/06/14)
- Vomiting Corpses: Coma - The spheres of innocence (11/06/14)
- Mayhem: Esoteric warfare (10/06/14)
- S(crap)s: Akrotheism / Black Altar / Druknroll / Enthroned / Funeral Sutra (09/06/14)
- Agalloch: The serpent & the sphere (08/06/14)
- Dark Tranquillity: Construct (07/06/14)
- In Flames: The jester race (06/06/14)
- S(crap)s: Souldrainer / Tonic Breed / Rude / Defying / Electric Hellride / Scorned Disciple (05/06/14)
- Culted: Oblique to all paths (04/06/14)
- read
Recent discussions
Reviews
Gortal: The blastphemous sindecade
05/10/09 || theProphet
Upon encountering Gortal’s “The Blastphemous Sindecade” one can be expected to raise this question: Does Gortal play fucking Pun Metal? Seriously, look at the name (haha very clever, “mortal” but change the beginning to the most generic of all metal bandname syllables, namely “gor”), the atrocious album title or peruse the mindnumbingly pun-laden tracklist, which, as a bonus, also includes the easily most common of all metal song titles “Unleash Hell”. What the fuck guys? Game over, no continues.
Progressing to the audial aspect of it all, Gortal sounds like you’d expect from reading the first paragraph: like bad standup and terribly generic and unimaginative death metal. I’m starting to think that every band that has sent GD an album that I have subsequently claimed is, in fact, the same lonely guy who made a zombie soundtrack for me to review a while back. All this bullshit most be the work of the same number of individuals, there is no other way, other than a whole new level of collective consciousness (and how the fuck do you spell that by the way?). Yeah, Gortal is Polish so of course there is some level of quality on it, just like all the other albums referenced above, but that’s not the point. The point is that if you realize that your band sounds like a way worse version of like ten bands that you like. Don’t bother existing. Fuck.
So this is the album that almost caused my departure from the GD ranks, all due to a nervous breakdown caused by hearing the same bland album over and over and over again after being led to believe that more than one band wants me to review their album…
To conclude: you’ve heard this before, and unlike song number two in relation to song number one on a Bolt Thrower or AC/DC album, it wasn’t that awesome the first time, and not the second time either…
- Information
- Released: 2008
- Label: Pagan Records
- Website: www.gortal.pl
- Band
- Chryste: vocals, lead guitars
- Major: guitars
- Desecrator: drums
- Tracklist
- 01. Insight
- 02. Perversity Rites
- 03. Black-Purest-Desecration
- 04. Forgotten Writing
- 05. Unleash Hell
- 06. Deathamation
- 07. Beast-War-Terror
- 08. Obscene Nazarene
- 09. Blastphemy
